The Book I Cannot Be Without

I am a natural birthing, breastfeeding, baby wearing, sleep sharing, non-circumcising mommy and this book helps me do that the best way I can.

The Baby Book my Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears is my go to book for all kinds of questions. I have referred to it for anything from newborn procedures, to potty training, to growth and breastfeeding. This book has it all.

One of the reasons I really like this book is because it coincides with a lot of the beliefs I have about how to care for my baby. This 28 chapter, 767 page book is written from a non-biased prospective and points out both sides of issues and questions I have. But, I like the fact that my questions regarding parenting from a somewhat non-mainstream point of view are answered.

Cloth Diapering

Are you overwhelmed by the idea of cloth diapering? Does it seem too time consuming? Or, are you kind of grossed out by all of it?

There are many reasons to use cloth. It is cost effective, eco-friendly, there are many brands and styles available, and they are so comfy on your baby's bottom, not to mention healthier too.

We have chosen to cloth diaper for all of the reasons listed above. Let me tell you why I absolutely love to cloth diaper.

COST EFFECTIVE:
The average cost of diapering a child from birth to age three with disposables is between $2,000 - $3,000. Cloth diapering for the same amount of time can cost about $300 - $800 depending on the diaper choices you make. And, you can reuse them for subsequent children - an even better savings!

So far for our 7 week old we use organic cotton prefolds and little beetle hemp diapers. I bought three sets of a dozen prefolds in three different sizes to use as he grows for about $15 - $18/dozen from Hip Green Baby and the Little Beetles were hand-me-downs from my sister. Although you change diapers more often and do laundry about every other day, cloth diapers are less expensive in the long run. And, if you line dry, you are saving money on your energy bill too.

ECO-FRIENDLY:
Cloth diapering allows you to reuse and recycle. It makes me feel good to know that I am not contributing to the landfill. And, being open to using hand-me-down diapers helps out our wallet as well. We use flannel washcloths to wipe his bottom when changing him which also helps reduce the use of disposable baby wipes. I have a large pail lined with a washable bag from Hip Green Baby and a small bag for holding dirty diapers so that cloth diapering can be just as convenient on the go. If you have a baby like mine, you can often times change several diapers within a matter of a few minutes. Think how little time that diaper spent on that little bum compared to the hundreds of years it will spend in the landfill.

MANY OPTIONS:
Cloth diapers have come a long way in the past few years. If you are thinking messy, hard to fold cloths with scary diaper pins and plastic covers, think again! There is quite a variety of choices when it comes to using cloth diapers. Cloth diapers are snug fitting, waterproof (in some cases), breathable, and have user friendly covers with Velcro or snap closures. We use a leak free, inexpensive diaper cover from Terra Tots over the prefolds and Little Beetles, as well as the diaper cover from gDiapers that we place a prefold organic cloth diaper in. As he grows, there are many adorable cloth diapering options including FuzziBunz, BumGenius, Swaddlebees, and many more.

COMFORT and HEALTH:
Thankfully my little guy hasn't had a diaper rash from the little bit of disposable diapering we have had to do. But, many babies get diaper rash and their bottoms can become irritated by the chemicals in disposable diapers. In addition, the toxins associated with disposable diapers have been known to cause respiratory problems and asthma. Disposable diapers are made with Tributly-tin (TBT), a toxic pollutant known to cause hormonal problems in humans and animals. They also contain a harmful ingredient called Sodium Polyacrylate which is the gel-like, crystal substance used as a super absorbent. Other harmful ingredients include: polypropylene plastic, petrolatum, stearyl alcohol, cellulose tissue, elastic, and perfume.

Consider investing in the health of your child, planet, and your pocketbook. It is well worth it for you, your baby, and the environment.

World Breastfeeding Week

My last post was on breastfeeding, but in light of it being World Breastfeeding Week, I would like to share a few more thoughts.

Did you think about breastfeeding when you were pregnant? I did. And, in my mind I really thought it would be a cinch. I would just buy a special bra, slap in a nursing pad, and feed my baby when he got hungry. Ha ha, if only it were that easy. I have a tendency to be an optimist when it comes to these things.

While pregnant, I had been glancing through several of my breastfeeding books, but honestly, the information doesn't make as much sense until it is actually happening to you and you are trying to figure the whole breastfeeding thing out as you go.

My experience hasn't been as challenging as some, but I can say that I understand why women quit just like I understand now why women want to be induced and get epidurals. But, I was one determined mommy to not do any of the above. Having cracked, bleeding nipples is not fun though. My toes curled up and I would clench my teeth each time I latch him on. I consulted a lactation consultant during the first weeks of breastfeeding and I contribute my healing to her suggestions. Ultimately, I think it came down to the Medela Soft Shells for Sore Nipples that made the difference. After four and a half weeks of painful feeding 8-12 times a day, I used the shells for three days and, voila!, my nipple was scarring over and healing. And, now, he latches on and I have no pain. It is just a joy to feed him now. Ladies, please hear this...DO NOT quit until you have tried to get help from a professional first. It is worth it for your sake and your baby's.

To all the women out there who are dealing with early breastfeeding issues, listen to those who have come before you (just as I did) - IT DOES GET BETTER, I promise.

What a joy to know that I am giving my son the wonderful gift of breastmilk. It is building his immunity, our bonding, and it is so healthy for us both.

The Joy of Breastfeeding

Yes, it is a commitment. Yes, it can be challenging. Yes, it takes a bit of an effort to learn. Yes, it takes a lot of mommy's time. Yes, there can be soreness and trauma. But, it is OH. SO. WORTH. IT!

I love to feel little fingers tickle my back as his arm dangles under mine while he eats.

I love when he locks eyes with mine as he is suckling and he smiles at me.

I love that he is getting the best nutrients on the planet from his food.

I love the bond I feel with him when I hold him close to feed him.

I love that breast milk helps build his brain with the natural omega-3 fatty acids DHA and ARA.

I love that I don't have to get up and fix a bottle at 2:30am.

I love that it it doesn't cost $1,200 a year like formula does, not to mention the cost of the bottles and all the equipment involved.

I love that it is easy on his delicate digestive system.

I love that it doesn't create extra work for me...like washing, sterilizing, and drying bottles.

I love that it is rich in natural, well absorbing lactose, iron, calcium, and zinc and DOES NOT contain corn syrup like formula.

I love that it is building his tiny immune system and protecting him against germs in the environment.

I love that it lowers my risk of breast and ovarian cancer.

I love that breastfeeding is helping me lose those extra pounds gained during pregnancy.

I love that it is a natural form of birth control.

I JUST LOVE IT!

My Mom Style

While I was pregnant, I got a lot questions.

Things like...

Will you use pacifiers?

Are you going to pump?

Will you co-sleep?

What kind of slings are you going to buy?

Will you use cloth diapers?

...and so on.

I was kind of determined not to set myself up for disappointment by deciding ahead of time what I would be doing. In my gut it felt better to say I would just play it by ear. Now that he is here, I take his cues for what his wants and needs are. There is a lot of conversation surrounding this topic. Some people call it attachment parenting vs. scheduling your baby (Babywise), but, for me, it feel right to do what he is asking for and not put a label on it. I don't really want to be put into a category of what kind of parenting style I have.

So, this is what I do....

I feed him when he wants. If that means a half hour after he just ate, than that is what I am doing. I have never had to pump because his eating habits have encouraged an ample milk supply. But, if he goes more than three hours at this point, I start to feel a little engorged and sometimes that to wake him to eat.

He sleeps in our bed with us because to us that feels best. Plus, I can just pull him close to feed him while I can somewhat continue sleeping.

I wear him in a sling or wrap a lot and he sleeps on my chest for his naps throughout the day. I like to have him close. Sometimes I think moms get caught up in getting the baby to sleep so they can get on to the next project or cleaning or whatever, but to me, the early weeks and months are so important for bonding with your baby so he or she can feel safe and secure. I am not worried one bit that he will become spoiled or to used to being close all the time.

He has always fallen asleep at night right after he eats, so I don't stress about staying awake during the day so he will sleep better at night.

I was hoping not to use a pacifier. I had always heard and believed it caused nipple confusion. But, I tried it one night. He likes to have it in as he falls asleep. I take it out when he is soundly sleeping, but it has become a necessity now.

One thing that I have put a lot of emphasis on is my diet as I am breastfeeding. I am staying away from gassy, hard to digest foods such as dairy, beans, tomatoes, chocolate, broccoli, etc. So far, he has only had one bout with gas...I ate a bean salad...my fault. However, he doesn't scream and cry with the gas, he seems to get more squirmy, toots, and he finds it hard to fall asleep.

Talking to him is also very important. I treat him like the little human that he is. He deserves to know what is going on when I am changing his clothes or giving him a bath or will feed him right after I go potty myself.

He wears cloth diapers because it is better for the earth, his little bottom, and our wallet. Ya, it is a little more work to clean them and you have to change the baby more frequently, but it is so worth it.

I also believe in the importance of allowing Daddy to be involved too. He changes the baby's diapers and I have left the baby with him on several occasions to run errands. Dads should form a special bond with their babies from the beginning as well.

My baby will be three weeks tomorrow. Besides two visits to see the midwives, I have not ventured outside the house with him. I have had a few visitors, but for the most part I think he is too itty bitty to be out and about and be passed around to people. I have started to get out a little bit more myself, but for the most part, I have been taking it easy and trying to recover from the birth. It has been a big help for my family to be around to help care for me. I know that a lot of women don't have this luxury, but allowing yourself to rest and recover before trying to get back at it is very important.

I am still learning myself and I am not saying that I have it all figured out. But, following the cues of my little guy is important to me and works well him and for my mom style.

Birth Trauma and Breastfeeding Remedies

Wouldn't it be nice if our bodies and babies came with a guidebook specifically for written for each of us?

We could know ahead of time that labor could potentially be 25 hours long. We could plan on how to deal with the back labor and the third degree tears. The cracking, bleeding nipples from breastfeeding would be anticipated and we could seek help before that ever happened. We would know that the hormones that are trying to balance out are going to give us some serious ups and downs and that just looking into the sweet eyes of our baby will make us cry for no reason at all.

But....

That isn't reality.

Thankfully, they write books to refer to once you know you are dealing with these issues.

I have been referring to The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears and Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher and Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett. In addition, I have been consulting a fabulous lactation consultant in my area.

So, here are some of the things I have been doing to recover from birth and baby.

Repair "Down There"...
For the first two days after the repair of my third degree tear I used herbal ice packs on the inflammation. These were made from soaking sanitary pads (overnight and regular size) in the herbal bath blend and freezing them. I changed them as needed. They melted, so I put this frozen pad onto another large pad they gave me at the hospital when I went in for the stitches after my home birth and then I put on a Depends. It isn't the most glamorous look, but for anyone who has had a tear that needs comfort, you know you don't even care at that point. After day two, I spread Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm onto a pad and it soothed the area. In fact, two and a half weeks later, I am still occasionally using this balm. It is definitely some amazing stuff.

Nipple Trauma and Repair...
For some reason, I have had issues with my left nipple. The right one has been just fine. My baby has a really great latch. If he happens to latch on incorrectly, I take the time to reposition and relatch as much as I need to until it is correct. My left nipple, however, started cracking and bleeding. I "toughed it out" for a few days and it just wasn't getting better. Just so you know, I don't recommend "toughing it out". Consult your lactation consultant right away if you think you may be having a issue with breastfeeding. But, I knew he had a proper latch according to the book and my knowledge of breastfeeding. When reading up on sore nipples and nipple trauma in Breastfeeding Made Simple, I discovered I had all of the following...

• intense, toe-curling pain
• pain throughout the feeding or between feedings
• broken skin, blisters, or color changes
• a burning sensation during, after or in-between feedings
• persistent soreness that does not improve after a day or two of trying to correct the problem

My book suggested that if I have any of the previous issues, to contact a lactation consultant immediately. The next morning, I called Mellanie Sheppard, IBCLC first thing. Her advice was to ensure the proper latch, use a saline wash after each feeding. I make this from 1/8 teas. sea salt and 1 oz. water in a shot glass and seal it over the nipple and areola to soak for 2-3 minutes. Don't soak for longer than 2-3 minutes or the nipple will get too soft. After the soak, I apply colloidal silver directly to the nipple as well as take 1 teas. orally to prevent further infection. Then, I use either Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter or a Lansinoh Soothies gel pads to ensure that my nipple does not stick to the nursing pad and cause further trauma. She also suggested to use a product by Medela called Soft Shell for Sore Nipples. I haven't tried those yet. In addition, she recommended taking supplements to boost my immune system in order to not fully develop mastitis. So far so good. My nipple is slowly recovering and I can tell a difference with each feeding.

We can't always prepare for all the what-ifs before they happen, but we can consult some great books and wonderful professionals for their advice once we know what kinds of things we are dealing with after birth.

My Very Own Birth Story

As I reflect back to a week ago, I am glad we are through that. But, I am sad that my baby is already almost a week old. We are definitely cherishing each and every moment - even the night time feedings. A week ago I was in labor. In fact, I was about to start active labor this very moment I am writing. Whew...again, I am glad it is over. I need a little time to gather my thoughts before I write out the entire birth story. I have had many people anxiously waiting to hear it. Maybe it is because I am a doula, and pregnancy, birth, and babies are my work that everyone is expecting an amazing, incredible, joyous, peaceful birth story. You know, just because I am a doula, I think that I had to experience a birth that was quite far from this. My work with women will ever be changed by my birth experience. It was long. It was very difficult at times. We had some unexpected things happen. But, in the end, Eli was born at home. He was born in the middle of the living room in the water in the presence of 5 midwives, 1 chiropractor, my mom, my sister, my husband, and me. He is perfect and healthy in every way. As of right now, it is difficult for my family and husband to talk about this experience. When I am able, I will post the whole birth story, but here are some highlights.

My mom arrived on Monday night, June 14th - the due date. On Tuesday, the 15th, I went to work at Gladney. I stayed for about an hour and then didn't really feel up to being there so I came home. Mom and I ran some errands and did some last minute shopping instead. That afternoon we did a belly cast out of plaster of paris strips which was so fun. I am excited to paint it when the inspiration comes to me. When Scott got home from work that night we ate dinner and then game 6 of the NBA finals was on. Scott watched that while Mom and I played Racko. I was feeling uncomfortable, but nothing far different than "normal". I did have to sit on a ball for a while because of the slight cramping. At about 11:15 we decided to call it a night. While filling my water and taking the evenings vitamins and herbs, I felt a little wetness. I went in and sat on the bed to have a small contraction and felt more water come out. Then, I got up to go to the bathroom and when I sat down I felt a small gush. It wasn't a lot, but I called out to Scott and Mom that I thought my water had broken. They kind of got excited. I watched it for a few minutes as more came out and discovered it was not clear. Because of the presence of meconium, I called the midwives. They decided it would be best to come and assess the situation. They arrived at about 1:00am. They checked me. Eli (still Baby R at this point) still had a bag of water over the head, but it definitely was water that was leaking. At that time, I was 3cm and 30-40% effaced. His head was kinked. I had my wonderful friend and chiropractor, Rachel, on call for me so we gave her a call to come and adjust my pelvis to see if this would help relieve the pain that had started in my back and the kink in Eli's neck. When she left, I tried to rest. I got a short massage from Mom because my back was beginning to hurt and then I went to bed. It was 4:30am. The midwives had decided to stay and sleep at the house and at 6:00am they came in to check my vitals. I was definitely in labor by this point. Throughout the morning we did things like eat breakfast, go for walks, climb stairs, hula on the birth ball, etc. Labor became very intense at about 1:00pm. From this point on, it wasn't very fun. I will continue from here when I am ready, but for now I will just tell you that it became a long, hard journey.

Here's why...

I was born with a fusion in my lumbar 5 vertebrae. The left side of my L5 is fused to my sacrum. I found this out about 8 years ago when I had x-rays at a chiropractor for the low back and sciatic pain I had been having. Because of this, I thought I may have a difficult time during pregnancy so I was receiving weekly adjustments to keep things mobile. For the most part, the sciatic pain stayed under control. I had a lot of round ligament pain and some sciatic pain, but by late in the 3rd trimester, I really was not experiencing any back pain. I could not have imagined that it would show its UGLY face in labor. My pelvis just does not open or give in that area of my low back. Needless to say, I experienced intense, almost unbearable back labor for the remainder of the time until the moment he was born. This is that part that is difficult to recount for everyone there. So, for now, I am going to skip it. But, apparently, according to several chiropractors I have talked to about this, it is a true triumph to have succeeded to have a normal, unmedicated birth with this type of sacralization in my back. I feel so happy, blessed, and brave to know that I defied the odds. And, I had the most amazing group of women surrounding me while I have birth. They all supported and prayed for me throughout the entire process. They encouraged me. They loved me. They believed in me. When I said no, they said yes. I love them all for that.

I never once doubted I could do it. I never once wanted to go to the hospital. It truly became a matter of sheer will and determination that I was going to birth this baby and he was going to get here safely in our home no matter what it took. Something in me decided that I wasn't going to allow anything to stand in my way. Let's just say that the midwive's new line for me is "I am woman, hear me roar!" Um, yes, I was uninhibited that is for sure.

Eli Scott Reasoner was born in the water at 12:24am on June 17th. He weighed 8lbs and was 21 3/4 inches long. And, after all that, I tore. My worst fear of birth was tearing. The midwives warned me that often times your worst fear is the thing that happens to you in birth. Well, it did. In fact, I had a 3rd degree tear because Eli (precious baby) decided to come barging out with a fist and arm flying. Scott thinks he was working on his blocking out skills for basketball. Ha, ha Daddy. Because my midwives didn't feel comfortable in their experience in repairing 3rd degree tears, they suggested that I go to the hospital and I agreed that was the best idea. We called several hospitals to see who was on call and who would be willing to come in to do the repairs at 4:00am. After feeding Eli and getting him settled in and crying my eyes out that I had to leave my new little family, (I wasn't about to take my newborn to the hospital with me) Mom, one of the midwives, and I loaded up and headed to the hospital. We got there about 4:30am. I was immediately taken care of by the nurse who was waiting for me to arrive. She was so wonderful and had had 3 babies of her own at a birth center. I also had an amazing doctor who came in especially for me. They cared for me and worked quickly so that I could get home to my baby. At 5:45am we were on our way home. I was so eager to get back to my family. Scott was anxiously awaiting our return and came out to meet us. We walked in the door to discover Heidi (my sister) had him wrapped up on her chest and he had been sleeping with her for the entire time. I was so grateful to know he was being taken care of so well. She had sent us a text while we were at the hospital to assure us he was doing just fine. I took my baby in my arms and Scott, Eli, and I went to the bedroom to rest. This is when I discovered how difficult the past 12+ hours had been on my husband. He was very emotional and concerned for me and was trying to block most of it out of his mind. All I could say and do at that point was look at our sweet boy and reassure my husband that all I had gone through was worth that precious face we were gazing into.

In the past week I have discovered so many wondrous things about my son. Because he was a chiropractic baby from 10 weeks pregnant to moments after birth and he had a drug free birth, I credit this to Eli being able to track his eyes and follow our voices to look around already. He likes to be swaddled, but only from the armpits down. Those hands and arms must be free. He likes to take naps on the Boppy. He giggled out loud yesterday and he often smiles in his sleep. I know he dreams about milk. The little guys nurses like a champ. He can sleep through getting a diaper change. He only fuses when we keep him from food too long. He loves to be naked in the sun. There are just so many things that I find out daily that make me so happy. I have looked at him and cried at the sheer joy I feel for having him as my son. I love him to pieces.

Scott is the best daddy and husband I could have ever asked for. He was my rock at the birth. He is my sons amazing father. I cannot tell you how he has surprised me as a dad (he has changed more diapers than I have) and how much I see the love he has for his son. We are so blessed as a family. The love I have for my husband and the love he has for me has increased a million times over since going through this and bringing our son into the world together.

If you are still reading, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share my story. Thank you for your support and love as friends, family, clients, and passers by of my blog.