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While I was pregnant, I got a lot questions.
Things like...
Will you use pacifiers?
Are you going to pump?
Will you co-sleep?
What kind of slings are you going to buy?
Will you use cloth diapers?
...and so on.
I was kind of determined not to set myself up for disappointment by deciding ahead of time what I would be doing. In my gut it felt better to say I would just play it by ear. Now that he is here, I take his cues for what his wants and needs are. There is a lot of conversation surrounding this topic. Some people call it attachment parenting vs. scheduling your baby (Babywise), but, for me, it feel right to do what he is asking for and not put a label on it. I don't really want to be put into a category of what kind of parenting style I have.
So, this is what I do....
I feed him when he wants. If that means a half hour after he just ate, than that is what I am doing. I have never had to pump because his eating habits have encouraged an ample milk supply. But, if he goes more than three hours at this point, I start to feel a little engorged and sometimes that to wake him to eat.
He sleeps in our bed with us because to us that feels best. Plus, I can just pull him close to feed him while I can somewhat continue sleeping.
I wear him in a sling or wrap a lot and he sleeps on my chest for his naps throughout the day. I like to have him close. Sometimes I think moms get caught up in getting the baby to sleep so they can get on to the next project or cleaning or whatever, but to me, the early weeks and months are so important for bonding with your baby so he or she can feel safe and secure. I am not worried one bit that he will become spoiled or to used to being close all the time.
He has always fallen asleep at night right after he eats, so I don't stress about staying awake during the day so he will sleep better at night.
I was hoping not to use a pacifier. I had always heard and believed it caused nipple confusion. But, I tried it one night. He likes to have it in as he falls asleep. I take it out when he is soundly sleeping, but it has become a necessity now.
One thing that I have put a lot of emphasis on is my diet as I am breastfeeding. I am staying away from gassy, hard to digest foods such as dairy, beans, tomatoes, chocolate, broccoli, etc. So far, he has only had one bout with gas...I ate a bean salad...my fault. However, he doesn't scream and cry with the gas, he seems to get more squirmy, toots, and he finds it hard to fall asleep.
Talking to him is also very important. I treat him like the little human that he is. He deserves to know what is going on when I am changing his clothes or giving him a bath or will feed him right after I go potty myself.
He wears cloth diapers because it is better for the earth, his little bottom, and our wallet. Ya, it is a little more work to clean them and you have to change the baby more frequently, but it is so worth it.
I also believe in the importance of allowing Daddy to be involved too. He changes the baby's diapers and I have left the baby with him on several occasions to run errands. Dads should form a special bond with their babies from the beginning as well.
My baby will be three weeks tomorrow. Besides two visits to see the midwives, I have not ventured outside the house with him. I have had a few visitors, but for the most part I think he is too itty bitty to be out and about and be passed around to people. I have started to get out a little bit more myself, but for the most part, I have been taking it easy and trying to recover from the birth. It has been a big help for my family to be around to help care for me. I know that a lot of women don't have this luxury, but allowing yourself to rest and recover before trying to get back at it is very important.
I am still learning myself and I am not saying that I have it all figured out. But, following the cues of my little guy is important to me and works well him and for my mom style.
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Attachment Parenting: The Science Behind the Style
Okay, attachment parenting it is!
Attachment Parenting is the special bond between you and your baby. It means the mother (and father) are in harmony with the needs of the baby. It usually refers to the mother more because the mother-infant attachment can be stronger than that with the father mostly due to breastfeeding and the care given to the baby. Not to exclude the father, but the mother is often more attached with the newborn. Attached children play better with peers, are better lovers, better students, better parents, have higher IQ's and faster motor skills, and they are more resilient. There are 7 B's to attachment parenting as formed by Dr. Robert Sears that I have outlined below. Click here for more information at Dr. Sears' website.
1. BIRTH BONDING
The mindset of attachment parenting starts at birth. In the initial hours following the birth, it is suggested to avoid separation to allow the initial bonding with both parents. Healthy, normally birthed babies (without special needs directly after birth) should be placed on the mother's chest immediately after birth until the first feeding is finished. The first exam may be done on the mother's chest. Ideally, the baby should stay with the parents throughout the recovery period until the parents go home. In order to ensure this happens, it is suggested that the parents visit with the caregivers prior to the birth.
2. BREASTFEEDING
If a baby achieves breastfeeding in the first hour of life, he/she will be more likely to exclusively breastfeed for longer. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues and understand his/her body language. Breastfeeding provides the hormones to give you a "mothering boost".
3. BABYWEARING
This lets you develop your own instincts with your baby. Babies in slings are more attached to their mothers that those in baby seats. More attached babies become more independent children. Playpen babies have been shown to develop skills at a slower rate. Babies carried in 3-D (side, back, front) cry less and their brains grow faster.
4. BEDSHARING (CO-SLEEPING)
Sleeping with your babies and children in your "safe" adult bed has been shown to promote more attached, independent, and secure children. Three times as many babies die in cribs as die in adult beds. Bedsharing is safe. Half of Americans co-sleep with their babies and children about half of the time. Bedsharing actually decreases the rate of SIDS. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room sharing to lower the rate of SIDS (except if one or both of the parents are smokers or abuse alcohol, which increases SIDS if room sharing by 25 times!) Solo sleepers or babies who sleep alone are shown to startle more often, have higher anxiety, have increased heart rates, and have interfered sleep. SIDS is lowest in countries that routinely practice co-sleeping. When you have small children in your bed, you should take your bed off the frame, have no cracks, no water beds, take no sedatives, and have no really soft, cushy linens. And, if you do not want to bedshare, don't do it. It has to be something you want or you will become resentful of sharing your bed. *When bedsharing, it is important to note that newborns/infants and small children should not be in the same beds.
5. BELIEVE YOUR BABY'S CRIES
Your child's development is most importantly influenced by the mother's response to the cry. When you respond to the babies cries, you meet his needs and he will know he is loved. "Crying it out" babies are shown to cry more and more annoyingly because they are insecure. The more babies cry, the more stress hormones circulate which suppress growth and immune function.
6. BEWARE OF BABY TRAINERS
Watch out for rigid, extreme parenting styles that suggest schedules and watching the clock. This promotes a short-term gain and long-term loss and Dr. Sears suggest it is not a wise investment.
7. BALANCE
Your marriage is still very important. Figure out and gain the wisdom of when to say "yes" and when to say "no".
Attachment Parenting is NOT:
Ignoring your marriage, ignoring your health, self-sacrificing, being critical of others, or insisting your way is best.
For more information see www.askdrsears.com.
Attachment Parenting is the special bond between you and your baby. It means the mother (and father) are in harmony with the needs of the baby. It usually refers to the mother more because the mother-infant attachment can be stronger than that with the father mostly due to breastfeeding and the care given to the baby. Not to exclude the father, but the mother is often more attached with the newborn. Attached children play better with peers, are better lovers, better students, better parents, have higher IQ's and faster motor skills, and they are more resilient. There are 7 B's to attachment parenting as formed by Dr. Robert Sears that I have outlined below. Click here for more information at Dr. Sears' website.
1. BIRTH BONDING
The mindset of attachment parenting starts at birth. In the initial hours following the birth, it is suggested to avoid separation to allow the initial bonding with both parents. Healthy, normally birthed babies (without special needs directly after birth) should be placed on the mother's chest immediately after birth until the first feeding is finished. The first exam may be done on the mother's chest. Ideally, the baby should stay with the parents throughout the recovery period until the parents go home. In order to ensure this happens, it is suggested that the parents visit with the caregivers prior to the birth.
2. BREASTFEEDING
If a baby achieves breastfeeding in the first hour of life, he/she will be more likely to exclusively breastfeed for longer. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues and understand his/her body language. Breastfeeding provides the hormones to give you a "mothering boost".
3. BABYWEARING
This lets you develop your own instincts with your baby. Babies in slings are more attached to their mothers that those in baby seats. More attached babies become more independent children. Playpen babies have been shown to develop skills at a slower rate. Babies carried in 3-D (side, back, front) cry less and their brains grow faster.
4. BEDSHARING (CO-SLEEPING)
Sleeping with your babies and children in your "safe" adult bed has been shown to promote more attached, independent, and secure children. Three times as many babies die in cribs as die in adult beds. Bedsharing is safe. Half of Americans co-sleep with their babies and children about half of the time. Bedsharing actually decreases the rate of SIDS. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room sharing to lower the rate of SIDS (except if one or both of the parents are smokers or abuse alcohol, which increases SIDS if room sharing by 25 times!) Solo sleepers or babies who sleep alone are shown to startle more often, have higher anxiety, have increased heart rates, and have interfered sleep. SIDS is lowest in countries that routinely practice co-sleeping. When you have small children in your bed, you should take your bed off the frame, have no cracks, no water beds, take no sedatives, and have no really soft, cushy linens. And, if you do not want to bedshare, don't do it. It has to be something you want or you will become resentful of sharing your bed. *When bedsharing, it is important to note that newborns/infants and small children should not be in the same beds.
5. BELIEVE YOUR BABY'S CRIES
Your child's development is most importantly influenced by the mother's response to the cry. When you respond to the babies cries, you meet his needs and he will know he is loved. "Crying it out" babies are shown to cry more and more annoyingly because they are insecure. The more babies cry, the more stress hormones circulate which suppress growth and immune function.
6. BEWARE OF BABY TRAINERS
Watch out for rigid, extreme parenting styles that suggest schedules and watching the clock. This promotes a short-term gain and long-term loss and Dr. Sears suggest it is not a wise investment.
7. BALANCE
Your marriage is still very important. Figure out and gain the wisdom of when to say "yes" and when to say "no".
Attachment Parenting is NOT:
Ignoring your marriage, ignoring your health, self-sacrificing, being critical of others, or insisting your way is best.
For more information see www.askdrsears.com.
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