My Very Own Birth Story

As I reflect back to a week ago, I am glad we are through that. But, I am sad that my baby is already almost a week old. We are definitely cherishing each and every moment - even the night time feedings. A week ago I was in labor. In fact, I was about to start active labor this very moment I am writing. Whew...again, I am glad it is over. I need a little time to gather my thoughts before I write out the entire birth story. I have had many people anxiously waiting to hear it. Maybe it is because I am a doula, and pregnancy, birth, and babies are my work that everyone is expecting an amazing, incredible, joyous, peaceful birth story. You know, just because I am a doula, I think that I had to experience a birth that was quite far from this. My work with women will ever be changed by my birth experience. It was long. It was very difficult at times. We had some unexpected things happen. But, in the end, Eli was born at home. He was born in the middle of the living room in the water in the presence of 5 midwives, 1 chiropractor, my mom, my sister, my husband, and me. He is perfect and healthy in every way. As of right now, it is difficult for my family and husband to talk about this experience. When I am able, I will post the whole birth story, but here are some highlights.

My mom arrived on Monday night, June 14th - the due date. On Tuesday, the 15th, I went to work at Gladney. I stayed for about an hour and then didn't really feel up to being there so I came home. Mom and I ran some errands and did some last minute shopping instead. That afternoon we did a belly cast out of plaster of paris strips which was so fun. I am excited to paint it when the inspiration comes to me. When Scott got home from work that night we ate dinner and then game 6 of the NBA finals was on. Scott watched that while Mom and I played Racko. I was feeling uncomfortable, but nothing far different than "normal". I did have to sit on a ball for a while because of the slight cramping. At about 11:15 we decided to call it a night. While filling my water and taking the evenings vitamins and herbs, I felt a little wetness. I went in and sat on the bed to have a small contraction and felt more water come out. Then, I got up to go to the bathroom and when I sat down I felt a small gush. It wasn't a lot, but I called out to Scott and Mom that I thought my water had broken. They kind of got excited. I watched it for a few minutes as more came out and discovered it was not clear. Because of the presence of meconium, I called the midwives. They decided it would be best to come and assess the situation. They arrived at about 1:00am. They checked me. Eli (still Baby R at this point) still had a bag of water over the head, but it definitely was water that was leaking. At that time, I was 3cm and 30-40% effaced. His head was kinked. I had my wonderful friend and chiropractor, Rachel, on call for me so we gave her a call to come and adjust my pelvis to see if this would help relieve the pain that had started in my back and the kink in Eli's neck. When she left, I tried to rest. I got a short massage from Mom because my back was beginning to hurt and then I went to bed. It was 4:30am. The midwives had decided to stay and sleep at the house and at 6:00am they came in to check my vitals. I was definitely in labor by this point. Throughout the morning we did things like eat breakfast, go for walks, climb stairs, hula on the birth ball, etc. Labor became very intense at about 1:00pm. From this point on, it wasn't very fun. I will continue from here when I am ready, but for now I will just tell you that it became a long, hard journey.

Here's why...

I was born with a fusion in my lumbar 5 vertebrae. The left side of my L5 is fused to my sacrum. I found this out about 8 years ago when I had x-rays at a chiropractor for the low back and sciatic pain I had been having. Because of this, I thought I may have a difficult time during pregnancy so I was receiving weekly adjustments to keep things mobile. For the most part, the sciatic pain stayed under control. I had a lot of round ligament pain and some sciatic pain, but by late in the 3rd trimester, I really was not experiencing any back pain. I could not have imagined that it would show its UGLY face in labor. My pelvis just does not open or give in that area of my low back. Needless to say, I experienced intense, almost unbearable back labor for the remainder of the time until the moment he was born. This is that part that is difficult to recount for everyone there. So, for now, I am going to skip it. But, apparently, according to several chiropractors I have talked to about this, it is a true triumph to have succeeded to have a normal, unmedicated birth with this type of sacralization in my back. I feel so happy, blessed, and brave to know that I defied the odds. And, I had the most amazing group of women surrounding me while I have birth. They all supported and prayed for me throughout the entire process. They encouraged me. They loved me. They believed in me. When I said no, they said yes. I love them all for that.

I never once doubted I could do it. I never once wanted to go to the hospital. It truly became a matter of sheer will and determination that I was going to birth this baby and he was going to get here safely in our home no matter what it took. Something in me decided that I wasn't going to allow anything to stand in my way. Let's just say that the midwive's new line for me is "I am woman, hear me roar!" Um, yes, I was uninhibited that is for sure.

Eli Scott Reasoner was born in the water at 12:24am on June 17th. He weighed 8lbs and was 21 3/4 inches long. And, after all that, I tore. My worst fear of birth was tearing. The midwives warned me that often times your worst fear is the thing that happens to you in birth. Well, it did. In fact, I had a 3rd degree tear because Eli (precious baby) decided to come barging out with a fist and arm flying. Scott thinks he was working on his blocking out skills for basketball. Ha, ha Daddy. Because my midwives didn't feel comfortable in their experience in repairing 3rd degree tears, they suggested that I go to the hospital and I agreed that was the best idea. We called several hospitals to see who was on call and who would be willing to come in to do the repairs at 4:00am. After feeding Eli and getting him settled in and crying my eyes out that I had to leave my new little family, (I wasn't about to take my newborn to the hospital with me) Mom, one of the midwives, and I loaded up and headed to the hospital. We got there about 4:30am. I was immediately taken care of by the nurse who was waiting for me to arrive. She was so wonderful and had had 3 babies of her own at a birth center. I also had an amazing doctor who came in especially for me. They cared for me and worked quickly so that I could get home to my baby. At 5:45am we were on our way home. I was so eager to get back to my family. Scott was anxiously awaiting our return and came out to meet us. We walked in the door to discover Heidi (my sister) had him wrapped up on her chest and he had been sleeping with her for the entire time. I was so grateful to know he was being taken care of so well. She had sent us a text while we were at the hospital to assure us he was doing just fine. I took my baby in my arms and Scott, Eli, and I went to the bedroom to rest. This is when I discovered how difficult the past 12+ hours had been on my husband. He was very emotional and concerned for me and was trying to block most of it out of his mind. All I could say and do at that point was look at our sweet boy and reassure my husband that all I had gone through was worth that precious face we were gazing into.

In the past week I have discovered so many wondrous things about my son. Because he was a chiropractic baby from 10 weeks pregnant to moments after birth and he had a drug free birth, I credit this to Eli being able to track his eyes and follow our voices to look around already. He likes to be swaddled, but only from the armpits down. Those hands and arms must be free. He likes to take naps on the Boppy. He giggled out loud yesterday and he often smiles in his sleep. I know he dreams about milk. The little guys nurses like a champ. He can sleep through getting a diaper change. He only fuses when we keep him from food too long. He loves to be naked in the sun. There are just so many things that I find out daily that make me so happy. I have looked at him and cried at the sheer joy I feel for having him as my son. I love him to pieces.

Scott is the best daddy and husband I could have ever asked for. He was my rock at the birth. He is my sons amazing father. I cannot tell you how he has surprised me as a dad (he has changed more diapers than I have) and how much I see the love he has for his son. We are so blessed as a family. The love I have for my husband and the love he has for me has increased a million times over since going through this and bringing our son into the world together.

If you are still reading, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share my story. Thank you for your support and love as friends, family, clients, and passers by of my blog.

Homebirth: Not Just for the Crunchy, Country Folks

Recently, I have had many women comment about their "normal" friends birthing at home. Many people are under the misconception that only "weird" people have babies at home. I can tell you that growing up I may have been guilty to think that only certain types of people had babies at home. I now know differently.

I grew up in a rural community in Kansas. If you were to ask me as a teen what I thought about homebirth?" I would probably have told you that I am sure that the local Mennonite community was maybe the only group that would birth at home. My mother had five natural, unmedicated, hospital births, but I don't think I even knew there were any other options.

When my sister and her husband got pregnant with their first child in 2005, they decided to have a home birth. They live in Northwest Arkansas where they have access to midwives that would come to their home for prenatal visits and then for the birth. They don't have birthing
centers in their immediate area.

I recently sat down with my sister to ask her specific questions about her homebirth experience and the choices they made surrounding their pregnancy and birth. "I don't like drugs or pressure," she told me when asked why they decided to have their children at home. After interviewing local midwives, they made their choice based on the openness of the midwives, their loving spirit, and their passion for birth. (*Pictured is my sister with her daughter who was born at home in August 2008.)

She went on to say she had a positive, interested reaction from friends and family. No one ever made them feel bad or guilty for having a home birth. They got asked many questions that they could easily answer because of their comfort level with birthing at home. Her only concern with homebirth was "the worst case scenario" option which, in their mind, they were believing that they weren't going to have. And, they never did with either birth.

They loved both of their experiences with having babies at home. The intimate, safe, calm, peaceful atmosphere is what they desired for the baby and themselves and it was perfect for them. She believes the safest place to have a baby is where a mother and her support feel most comfortable. She read that during her first pregnancy and tells that to anyone asking advice.

"It is awesome," is her response to having a homebirth, "the love and care you get at home and the approach to labor and newborn care is refreshing and reassuring." She would tell anyone on the fence to keep doing research. If one of the parents is not in agreement with the other, continue to get educated. Read books, watch documentaries on birth, talk to friends who have had a homebirth experience, and talk to midwives, natural childbirth educators, and doulas. Make a final decision based on education, not fear.

Homebirth is safe. Midwives come fully prepared for anything that could happen during and after birth. I wouldn't say that homebirth is for every couple, but certainly I believe that it is a glorious option for every low-risk, healthy mother and baby.

Baby Alayna

What a great birth of Baby Alayna!!

I have an awesome birth story to follow very soon.

The team of midwives that came to her home birth.

Being the doula for Rachel and Andrew.

Two Unplanned Home Birth Stories

I will post my version of these stories very soon. For now, please read Donna's blog for the great story. They are absolutely wonderful! What an eventful week of births.

A Home Birth Story

Yesterday morning at about 2:00am I got the call. It was the call I had been waiting for for about two weeks. She said "Hannah, my water just broke and I am having really strong contractions." I said, "ok, I will be right over. She was having a home birth and lives about 25 minutes away. Surprisingly, I was not nervous or anxious despite the fact that this was only my second "natural birth" and the other one I had attended was not truly "natural" (that story is for another time). I had been praying a lot that I would have the instincts to know what to do for her when the time came. I had also been praying very specifically that I would be able to attend all of her birth and that the baby would not come at a time that I could not get to her immediately due to other obligations.

I arrived at their home at about 2:4oam. She was still in first stage labor and dealing very well with her contractions. We tried several different positions for her to be comfortable. I did some massaging on her back to ease her contractions as well. Ultimately she found the bathtub filled with warm water to be most comforting. She had prepared for this birth which The Bradley Method (taught by my friend Donna) and with hypnobirthing techniques. While in the tub, she became very peaceful and allowed her body to work for her not against her. So much so, that none of the midwives, nor I, could really tell when she was having contractions. Although extremely tired, she was very relaxed and trusted her body at that point. As she got close to second stage (pushing) she wanted to be out of the bathtub. As it was being drained for her to safely get out, she began to have the strong urge to push. It seemed as though she wasn't going to be getting out of the tub and that the birth was going to take place right there. With her husband and I at her head coaching her along, she had one midwife at her bottom and one midwife at her side. With several pushes a baby girl was born at 5:22am. Mother and baby bonded right away. After immediately nursing, mother and baby enjoyed an herbal bath together. Dad did an awesome job in his support roll for her. It isn't always easy to fully understand the needs of a laboring woman and, in my opinion, we worked together well to achieve the mothers needs. I stayed for about two hours postpartum to ensure mother, family and baby were doing well. The midwives were going to stay for a few hours as well. I will be visiting her at least one postpartum depending on her needs.

I feel very honored to have been a part of the birth. It is such an intimate experience for the family and to be asked to attend is such a wonderful feeling. I enjoy working along side women who desire to have an amazing and memorable birth experience. I know that having support and comfort during that time means a lot to moms..... and dads too!

And, I highly recommend the midwives at The Cleburne Birthing Center in Cleburne, TX. They were amazing!

The Safest Birth Place

I get asked this question a lot. "Where is the safest place to give birth?" I think that after my last post, many of you know where I think the safest place to give birth is. But, that is because I think that will be the safest place for me. My husband is comfortable with it and that is important for me as well. I believe that the safest place to give birth is wherever you feel the safest. Your environment the people you surround yourself with during your birth need to make you feel calm, comfortable, and at peace. If you are worried about your husband, your other kids, the dog, bright lights, cold air, phones ringing, medications, and so on, you will not be at peace. Try no to feel pressured to make a decision about your birth place because someone else believes it best for you. You know your needs and your body and what is most relaxing to you. As a doula, I support birth in the place of your choosing, whether that be in a hospital, a birthing center or in your home. It's your birth after all!

I want to hear from you. Take the poll on where you believe the safest place to give birth for you is.

Choose Your Birth Place Wisely

I have attended two hospital births in the past week and a half, both resulted in a cesarean birth. I believe this was due to the excessive amounts of interventions, medications, and clock watchers on the staff. I am saddened and concerned for the young ladies that had to go through this. It is difficult, as a doula, to believe that this is how it "had" to be because in my heart of hearts I believe otherwise.

Having not had children of my own, I don't necessarily have a validated biased opinion, however, I plan to give birth in my home when the time comes. Many people that I tell this to are appalled that I would consider such a "dangerous" way to give birth. A lack of education and information allows them to form such an opinion. My husband and I believe that for our birth, that our home if the safest place to be. I, myself, have only heard through the grapevine of one instance that a friend of a friend went to the hospital during her home birth. I have, on the other hand, heard of many successful and wonderful home birth stories. My sister has had two amazing home births that transpired incredibly well. She is quite an inspiration to those who have questions or fears about having a baby at home. She trusted her body and it did for her what she wanted and prayed for it to do.

My friend, Donna, has recently blogged about her take on home births. She has had two of them herself. Take a look at her blog for some more fascinating information! Click here for Donna's Blog!